其实一个人的生活也不算太坏
偶尔有些小小的悲哀
我想别人也看不出来
即使孤单会使我伤怀
也会试着让自己想得开
对你不知道是已经习惯还是爱
当初所坚持的心情
是不是还依然存在
眼看这一季就要过去
我的春天还没有来
你为何不掉过头去
让我自己去面对问题
你尝试着不露痕迹
告诉我爱情的道理
你认为值得努力的
是我俩之间的距离
喔这一季(喔这一季)
总算有些值得回忆(值得回忆)
Monday 30 April 2007
Saturday 28 April 2007
两个女孩
莹的爱 依偎著你的身体 无私地将你包围 等待著你在心理 给一个角落
却猜不出 你每天想念著谁 你心理惦记著谁 我想是吧 就是那你叫她玲的女孩
玲多温驯美丽 莹好可爱 隐约觉得不安却说不出来 你知道却绝口不提分开
你答的毫无意外 两个都爱 你滔滔不绝我却听不明白 只知道你迟早两颗心 都要伤害
两个女孩 易感专情独立 聪明冷静纤细 竟然会那么爱你 我无话可说
结局不出 到最后谁安慰谁 说不定谁怨恨谁 快不要吧 两个任谁都心疼的女孩
玲多温驯美丽 莹好可爱 隐约觉得不安却说不出来 你知道却绝口不提分开
你答的像个无赖 两个都爱 你滔滔不绝只想置身事外 到何时你才想说明白
玲多温驯美丽 莹好可爱 隐约觉得不安却说不出来 你知道却绝口不提分开
你答的像个无赖 两个都爱 你滔滔不绝只想置身事外 难道你不知道两颗心 你都伤害
KAREN MOK
想要拥有的东西，当然一定要努力争取，就算得不到，也死心塌地。不努力的话，永远都不可能得到了！有试不一定有，但是不试就一定没有。
有些东西，不只是要想自己，也要想想别人的。
很欣赏你不顾世俗眼光的勇敢，但是却遗憾你从来不从她的角度去想。
却猜不出 你每天想念著谁 你心理惦记著谁 我想是吧 就是那你叫她玲的女孩
玲多温驯美丽 莹好可爱 隐约觉得不安却说不出来 你知道却绝口不提分开
你答的毫无意外 两个都爱 你滔滔不绝我却听不明白 只知道你迟早两颗心 都要伤害
两个女孩 易感专情独立 聪明冷静纤细 竟然会那么爱你 我无话可说
结局不出 到最后谁安慰谁 说不定谁怨恨谁 快不要吧 两个任谁都心疼的女孩
玲多温驯美丽 莹好可爱 隐约觉得不安却说不出来 你知道却绝口不提分开
你答的像个无赖 两个都爱 你滔滔不绝只想置身事外 到何时你才想说明白
玲多温驯美丽 莹好可爱 隐约觉得不安却说不出来 你知道却绝口不提分开
你答的像个无赖 两个都爱 你滔滔不绝只想置身事外 难道你不知道两颗心 你都伤害
KAREN MOK
想要拥有的东西，当然一定要努力争取，就算得不到，也死心塌地。不努力的话，永远都不可能得到了！有试不一定有，但是不试就一定没有。
有些东西，不只是要想自己，也要想想别人的。
很欣赏你不顾世俗眼光的勇敢，但是却遗憾你从来不从她的角度去想。
Sunday 8 April 2007
感动的故事----a touching story
这是我从朋友部落格中看到的故事，希望在跟大家分享，并且翻译成英文让不会看中文的朋友看。这是真人真事。
i read this story in my friend's blog, and i would like to share this with everyone, especially transilate (honestly, it is a bad transilation) to those who can't read mandarin. this is a true story......
有一個美麗的小女孩，她的名字叫做佘艷，她有一雙亮晶晶的大眼睛，她有一顆透亮的童心。她是一個孤兒，她在這個世界上只活了8年，她留在這個世界上最後的話是“我來過我很乖”。她希望死在秋天，纖瘦的身體就像一朵花自然開謝的過程。在遍地黃花堆積，落葉空中旋舞時候，她會看見橫空遠行雁兒們。她自願放棄治療，把全世界華人捐給她的54萬元救命錢分成了7份，把生命當成希望的蛋糕分別給了7個正徘徊在生死線的小朋友。
there was small beautiful girl called 'she yan'. she had a pair of big eyes and she was very good-hearted. she was an orphan. her life was only 8-year long. the last words she left before she went away is 'i had come to this world, and i am good girl'. she wanted to leave the world in autumn, just like fading of a flower. she decided to give up the treatment, and divided the donation from people into 7 parts to those infected by the same disease and need the money for the treatment.
我自願放棄治療
she wrote, 'i myself want to give up the treatment'
她一出生就不知親生父母，她只有收養她的“爸爸”。
she never knows her real parents since she was born, she only knew her foster father.
1996年11月30日，那是當年農曆10月20日，因為“爸爸”佘仕友在永興鎮沈家衝一座小橋旁的草叢中發現被凍得奄奄一息的這個新生嬰兒時，發現她的胸口處插著一張小紙片，上面寫著：“10月20日晚上12點。”
on 30th Nov 1996, it was 20th of 10th month in lunar calender, a guy called 'she shi you' found a almost lifeless newly born baby girl in brushwood near to a bridge at the town. he found a small note on the chest of the baby.'20th, 10th month (lunar calender), 12am'.
家住四川省雙流縣三星鎮雲崖村二組的佘仕友當時30歲，因為家裏窮一直找不到對象，如果要收養這個孩子，恐怕就更沒人願意嫁進家門了。看著懷中小貓一樣嚶嚶哭泣的嬰兒，佘仕友幾次放下又抱起，轉身走又回頭，這個小生命已經渾身冰冷哭聲微弱，再沒人管只怕隨時就沒命了！咬咬牙，他再次抱起嬰兒，嘆了一口氣：“我吃什麼，你就跟我吃什麼吧。”
'she shi you' stayed in a town in szechuan. he was 30 years old and poor. he knew if he wanted to foster this kid, it would be hard for him to get a wife in the future. he vacillated for so long. he tried to walked away, but he went back to the baby at last. looked at the baby, the small weak baby. although he was poor, he chose to bring the baby back.
佘仕友給孩子取名叫佘艷，因為她是秋天豐收季節出生的孩子。單身漢當起了爸爸，沒有母乳，也買不起奶粉，就只好喂米湯，所以佘艷從小體弱多病，但是非常乖巧懂事。春去春又回，如同苦藤上的一朵小花，佘艷一天天長大了，出奇得聰明乖巧，鄉鄰都說撿來的娃娃智商高，都喜歡她。儘管從小就多病，在爸爸的擔驚受怕中，佘艷慢慢地長大了。
he named the baby as 'she yan' because she was born in autumn. since he was single, and he was poor, milk powder was unaffordable, he could only feed the baby with 'rice water'. Hence, 'she yan' was not healthy. Anyway, 'she yan' just gradually grew up, just like a small flower on the cliff. 'she yan' was a intelligent girl.
命苦的孩子的確不一般，從5歲起，她就懂得幫爸爸分擔家務，洗衣、煮飯、割草她樣樣做得好，她知道自己跟別家的孩子不一樣，別家的孩子有爸爸有媽媽，自己的家裏只有她和爸爸，這個家得靠她和爸爸一起來支撐，她要很乖很乖，不讓爸爸多一點點憂心生一點點氣。
'she yan' was very mature compared to other kids. she did houseworks like laundry, cooking, seeding etc since at the age of 5. she knew she was different with other kids. others have both mother and father and she had only a father. hence she wanted to share the father's work. she was very good, never let the father being worry of her.
上小學了，佘艷知道自己要好學上進要考第一名，不識字的爸爸在村裏也會臉上有光，她從沒讓爸爸失望過。她給爸爸唱歌，把學校裏發生的趣事一樣一樣講給爸爸聽，把獲得的每一朵小紅花仔仔細細貼在墻上，偶爾還會調皮地出道題目考倒爸爸……每當看到爸爸臉上的笑容，她會暗自滿足：“雖然不能像別的孩子一樣也有媽媽，但是能跟爸爸這樣快樂地生活下去，也很幸福了。”
then, 'she yan' went to school as normal children. she knew good results could make the father felt proud of her. she studied hard and obtained very good results. she sang many songs for father, told every small happenings in the school......she was very happy to see the laughters on the father's face. she said 'although i can't have a mum like what a normal kid would have, i am very happy to live with father!!'
2005年5月開始，她經常流鼻血。有一天早晨，佘艷正欲洗臉，突然發現一盆清水變得紅紅的，一看，是鼻子裏的血正向下滴，不管採用什麼措施，都止不住。實在沒辦法，佘仕友帶她去鄉衛生院打針，可小小的針眼也出血不止，她的腿上還出現大量“紅點點”，醫生說，“趕快到大醫院去看！”來到成都大醫院，可正值會診高峰，她排不上輪次。獨自坐在長椅上按住鼻子，鼻血像兩條線直往下掉，染紅了地板。他覺得不好意思，只好端起一個便盆接血，不到10分鐘，盆子裏的血就盛了一半。
since may 2005, 'she yan's nose bleeds quite frequently. one day morning, when she was cleaning her face as usual, she found that the water in the pot became fully red because of the blood coming out from her nose. the bleeding did not stop no matter what they did. hence, 'she shi you' brought her to the clinic in the clinic. the doctor tried to stop the bleeding using injection. however, the bleeding of the small puncture caused by the injection was even worse. there were flecks on her legs. doctor advised them to go to the hospital in the city (Cheng Du). there are a lot of patients in the hospital. she waited very long. her nose bleeded very badly and wetted the floor. she felt bad and then found a container. after 10 minutes, the blood was already half full.
醫生見狀，連忙帶孩子去檢查。檢查後，醫生馬上給他開了病危通知單。他得了“急性白血病”！
a doctor passed by saw it and quickly brought her for a check-up. after that, the doctor said she had severe leucocythemia.
這種病的醫療費是非常昂貴的，費用一般需要30萬元！佘仕友懵了。看著病床上的女兒，他沒法想太多，他只有一個念頭：救女兒！借遍了親戚朋友，東拼西湊的錢不過杯水車薪，距離30萬實在太遠，他決定賣掉家裏唯一還能換錢的土坯房。可是因為房子太過破舊，一時找不到買主。
the treatment would be very costly. normally, it needs 300 thousands (ren min bi). the father was poor. he just go everywhere to borror money. but it was too little. he decided to sell the old
house. and it was hard to find the buyer because the house was too bad-conditioned.
看著父親那雙憂鬱的眼睛和日漸消瘦的臉，佘艷總有一種酸楚的感覺。一次，佘艷拉著爸爸的手，話還未出口眼淚卻冒了出來：“爸爸，我想死……”
looking at the tired and thining father, 'she yan' felt very sad. once, she told the father ' daddy, i want to die'......followed by tears.....
父親一雙驚愕的眼睛看著她：“你才8歲，為啥要死？”
the father was surprised. he said ' you are just 8 year old, why do you want to give up?'
“我是撿來的娃娃，大家都說我命賤，害不起這病，讓我出院吧……”
'i am just a kid you found in brushwood. i was fated to have hard life. just let me leave this hospital......'
6月18日，8歲的佘艷代替不識字的爸爸，在自己的病歷本上一筆一畫地簽字：“自願放棄對佘艷的治療。”
18th june, 'she yan' helped the illiterate father to write that 'give up the treatment to she yan'.
當天回家後，從小到大沒有跟爸爸提過任何要求的佘艷，這時向爸爸提出兩個要求：她想穿一件新衣服，再照一張相片，她對爸爸解釋說：“以後我不在了，如果你想我了，就可以看看照片上的我。”
after going back, the 8-year old girl had 2 requests to the father (she never has any request to the father before). she wanted a new clothes and wanted to take a photo. she explained to the father that the father can look at the picture when she had gone away.
第二天，爸爸叫上姑姑陪著佘艷來到鎮上，花30元給佘艷買了兩套新衣服，佘艷自己選了一套粉紅色的短袖短褲，姑姑給她選了一套白色紅點的裙子，她試穿上身就捨不得脫下來。三人來到照相館，佘艷穿著粉紅色的新衣服，雙手比著V字手勢，努力地微笑，最後還是忍不住掉下淚來。
the following day, the father asked his sister to help 'she yan' to get 2 pair of new clother. 'she yan' had chosen a red short-sleeved blouse and a red short. the aunty had bought her anothr red-dotted white skirt. then, 3 of them went to photography shop. 'she yan' was wearing the new clothes and tried so hard to smile. anyway, she just could not hold the tears.
她已經不能上學了，她長時間背著書包站在村前的小路上，目光總是濕漉漉的。
she could not go to school anymore. she took her bag, standing on the road that she normally walked to the school, her tears were full in her eyes.
如果不是《成都晚報》的一個叫傅艷的記者，佘艷將像一片悄然滑落的樹葉一樣，靜靜地從風中飄下來。記者阿姨從醫院方面得知了情況，寫了一篇報道，詳盡敘說佘艷的故事。旋即，《8歲女孩乖巧安排後事》的故事在蓉城傳開了，成都被感動了，互聯網也被感動了，無數市民為這位可憐的女孩心痛不已，從成都到全國乃至全世界，現實世界與互聯網空間聯動，所有愛心人士開始為這個弱小的生命捐款，“和諧社會”成為每個人心中的最強音。短短10天時間，來自全球華人捐助的善款就已經超過56萬元，手術費用足夠了，小佘艷的生命之火被大家的愛心再次點燃！宣佈募捐活動結束之後，仍然源源不斷收到全球各地的捐款。所有的錢都到位了，醫生也儘自己最大努力，一個接一個的治療難關也如願地一一闖過！大家沉著地微笑著等待成功的那一天！有網友如是寫道：“佘艷，我親愛的孩子！我希望你能健康的離開醫院；我祈禱你能順利的回到學校；我盼望你能平安的長大成人；我幻想我能高興的陪你出嫁。佘艷，我親愛的孩子……”
there was a reported from the 'cheng du press' called 'fu yan' knowing this story from the chengdu hospital. she wrote an article about it and then this story spreaded out. everyone was deeply touched and started raising the fund for 'she yan'. after 10 days, the donation reached 560 thousands. 'she yan' had another ray of hope to survive. everyone encouraged her, supported her via letters and donations. everyone sents their best wishes.
6月21日，放棄治療回家等待死神的佘艷被重新接到成都，住進了市兒童醫院。錢有了，卑微的生命有了延續下去的希望和理由。
21, june, 'she yan' was sent back to the cheng du hospital of children.
佘艷接受了難以忍受的化療。玻璃門內，佘艷躺在病床上輸液，床頭旁邊放著一把椅子，椅子上放一個塑膠盆，她不時要側身嘔吐。小女孩的堅強令所有人吃驚。她的主治醫生徐鳴介紹，化療階段胃腸道反應強烈，佘艷剛開始時經常一吐就是大半盆，可她“連吭都沒吭一聲”。剛入院時做骨髓穿刺檢查，針頭從胸骨刺入，她“沒哭，沒叫，眼淚都沒流，動都不動一下”。
'she yan' received the horrible and painful treatment. doctor xu was her doctor and she knew who suffering and painful can the patient feel. she never cries, never screams, never struggles even the doctor was trying to get bone marrow sample from her chest. her stiffness can never be found from other kids.
佘艷從出生到死亡，沒有得到一絲母愛的關照。當徐鳴醫生提出：“佘艷，給我當女兒吧！”佘艷眼睛一閃，淚珠兒一下就涌了出來。第二天，當徐鳴醫生來到她床前的時候，佘艷竟羞羞答答地叫了一聲：“徐媽媽。”徐鳴開始一愣，繼而笑逐顏開，甜甜地回了一聲：“女兒乖。”
'she yan' never has a mum. one day. doctor xu was very touched looking at her and said 'she yan, can you be my daughter'. 'she yan' cried when she heard it. the second day, when doctor xu went to her bed as usual, she called the her 'xu mama'. doctor xu was stupified at first followed by a big smile. then, she said, 'good daughter' .
所有的人都期待奇跡發生，所有的人都在盼望佘艷重生的那一刻。很多市民來到醫院看望佘艷，網上很多網民都在問候這位可憐的孩子，她的生命讓陌生的世界撒滿了光明。
everyone was waiting for miracle, waiting for the moment when 'she yan' was fully recovered. many people went to visit her. she was not fighting with the disease alone.
兩個月化療，佘艷陸續闖過了9次“鬼門關”，感染性休克、敗血症、溶血、消化道大出血……每次都逢凶化吉。由省內甚至國內權威兒童血液病專家共同會診確定的化療方案，效果很好，“白血病”本身已經被完全控制了！所有人都在企盼著佘艷康復的好消息。
in 2 months, 'she yan' almost went away 9 times due to infective shock, blood poisoning, hemolysis, inner bleeding. after a lot of effort, there is a slight improvement.
但是，化療藥物使用後可能引起的並發癥非常可怕。而與別的很多白血病孩子比較，佘艷的體質差很多。經此手術後她的體質更差了。
anyway, 'she yan' had become weaker and some unexpected syndromes were observed.
佘艷從枕頭下摸出一個數學作業本，遞給傅艷：“阿姨，這是我的遺書……”
one day, 'she yan' suddenly took out her mathematic workbook and passed it to 'fu yan' (the good-hearted reporter) saying that it was her 'testament'
傅艷大驚，連忙打開一看，果然是小佘艷安排的後事。這是一個年僅8歲的垂危孩子，趴在病床上用鉛筆寫了三頁紙的《遺書》。由於孩子太小，有些字還不會寫，且有個別錯別字。看得出整篇文章並不是一氣呵成寫完的，分成了六段。開頭是“傅艷阿姨”，結尾是“傅艷阿姨再見”，整篇文章“傅艷阿姨”或“傅阿姨” 共出現7次，還有9次簡稱記者為“阿姨”。這16個稱呼後面，全部是關於她離世後的“拜託”，以及她想通過記者向全社會關心她的人表達“感謝”與“再見”。
'fu yan' was surprised. she opened the book and 'she yan' really wrote her 'testament' which is 3-page long in it.
“阿姨再見，我們在夢中見。傅艷阿姨，我爸爸房子要垮了。爸爸不要生氣，不要跳樓。傅阿姨你要看好我爸爸。阿姨，醫我的錢給我們學校一點點，多謝阿姨給紅十字會會長說。我死後，把剩下的錢給那些和我一樣病的人，讓他們的病好起來……”
'fu-yan aunty, goodbye, let's meet again in dream. aunty, my father's house is too old and may collapse. tell daddy don't be angry, and don't commit suicide. aunty, please take care of my father. aunty, give part of the donation to my school, please help me to tell the chairman of Red Cross. after i go away, please use the leftover of the donation to help those have the same disease as mine. please cure them.'
這封遺書，讓傅艷看得淚流滿面，泣不成聲。
this 'testament' made 'fu-yan' cry.
8月22日，由於消化道出血，幾乎一個月不能吃東西而靠輸液支撐的佘艷，第一次“偷吃東西”，她掰了一塊方便麵塞進嘴裏。很快消化道出血加重，醫生護士緊急給她輸血、輸液……看著佘艷腹痛難忍、痛苦不堪的樣子，醫生護士都哭了，大家都願意幫她分擔痛苦，可是，想盡各種辦法還是無濟於事。
22th august, due to bleeding of the alimentary canal, 'she yan' cannot eat anything. she secretly ate a small piece of 'dried noodle'. then, the bleeding was worsen very badly and quickly. all the medical staff were worry. the doctor rapidly did blood transfusion. she yan's stomach is horribly painful. all the doctors and nurses were crying looking at her suffering face.
8歲的小佘艷終於遠離病魔的摧殘，安詳離去。
finally, she went away quietly.
所有人都無法接受這個事實：那個美麗如詩、純凈如水的“小仙女”真的去了另一個世界嗎？記者傅艷撫摸著佘艷漸漸冰冷的小臉，泣不成聲，再也不能叫他阿姨了，再也不能笑出聲來了…… 四川線上，網易等網站沉浸在淚海裏，互聯網被淚水打濕透了，“心痛到不能呼吸”。每個網站的消息帖子下面都有上萬條跟帖，花圈如山，悼詞似海，一位中年男士喃喃低語：“孩子，你本來就是天上的小天使，張開小翅膀，乖乖地飛吧……” 8月26日，她的葬禮在小雨中舉行，成都市東郊殯儀館火化大廳內外站滿了熱淚盈眶的市民。他們都是8歲女孩佘艷素不相識的“爸爸媽媽”。為了讓這個一齣生就被遺棄、患白血病後自願放棄自己的女孩，最後離去時不至於太孤單，來自四面八方的“爸爸媽媽們”默默地冒雨前來送行。
everyone was surprised! the good girl had gone away? everyone was sad. 26th august, her funeral was held. many people attended although that was a rainy day.
她墓地有她一張笑吟吟的照片，碑文正面上方寫著：“我來過，我很乖(1996.11.30.--2005.8.22)”
on her grave, 'i had come to this beautiful world, i am a good girl' was carved.
我知道我的英文有多糟糕,但是我希望大家能看到这一篇,知道自己有多么的幸福. 幸福不是必然的,请好好珍惜.
i know how horrible and poor my english is, but i hoped everyone can read it. it is meaningful. do you know how fortunate and blessed you are?
i read this story in my friend's blog, and i would like to share this with everyone, especially transilate (honestly, it is a bad transilation) to those who can't read mandarin. this is a true story......
有一個美麗的小女孩，她的名字叫做佘艷，她有一雙亮晶晶的大眼睛，她有一顆透亮的童心。她是一個孤兒，她在這個世界上只活了8年，她留在這個世界上最後的話是“我來過我很乖”。她希望死在秋天，纖瘦的身體就像一朵花自然開謝的過程。在遍地黃花堆積，落葉空中旋舞時候，她會看見橫空遠行雁兒們。她自願放棄治療，把全世界華人捐給她的54萬元救命錢分成了7份，把生命當成希望的蛋糕分別給了7個正徘徊在生死線的小朋友。
there was small beautiful girl called 'she yan'. she had a pair of big eyes and she was very good-hearted. she was an orphan. her life was only 8-year long. the last words she left before she went away is 'i had come to this world, and i am good girl'. she wanted to leave the world in autumn, just like fading of a flower. she decided to give up the treatment, and divided the donation from people into 7 parts to those infected by the same disease and need the money for the treatment.
我自願放棄治療
she wrote, 'i myself want to give up the treatment'
她一出生就不知親生父母，她只有收養她的“爸爸”。
she never knows her real parents since she was born, she only knew her foster father.
1996年11月30日，那是當年農曆10月20日，因為“爸爸”佘仕友在永興鎮沈家衝一座小橋旁的草叢中發現被凍得奄奄一息的這個新生嬰兒時，發現她的胸口處插著一張小紙片，上面寫著：“10月20日晚上12點。”
on 30th Nov 1996, it was 20th of 10th month in lunar calender, a guy called 'she shi you' found a almost lifeless newly born baby girl in brushwood near to a bridge at the town. he found a small note on the chest of the baby.'20th, 10th month (lunar calender), 12am'.
家住四川省雙流縣三星鎮雲崖村二組的佘仕友當時30歲，因為家裏窮一直找不到對象，如果要收養這個孩子，恐怕就更沒人願意嫁進家門了。看著懷中小貓一樣嚶嚶哭泣的嬰兒，佘仕友幾次放下又抱起，轉身走又回頭，這個小生命已經渾身冰冷哭聲微弱，再沒人管只怕隨時就沒命了！咬咬牙，他再次抱起嬰兒，嘆了一口氣：“我吃什麼，你就跟我吃什麼吧。”
'she shi you' stayed in a town in szechuan. he was 30 years old and poor. he knew if he wanted to foster this kid, it would be hard for him to get a wife in the future. he vacillated for so long. he tried to walked away, but he went back to the baby at last. looked at the baby, the small weak baby. although he was poor, he chose to bring the baby back.
佘仕友給孩子取名叫佘艷，因為她是秋天豐收季節出生的孩子。單身漢當起了爸爸，沒有母乳，也買不起奶粉，就只好喂米湯，所以佘艷從小體弱多病，但是非常乖巧懂事。春去春又回，如同苦藤上的一朵小花，佘艷一天天長大了，出奇得聰明乖巧，鄉鄰都說撿來的娃娃智商高，都喜歡她。儘管從小就多病，在爸爸的擔驚受怕中，佘艷慢慢地長大了。
he named the baby as 'she yan' because she was born in autumn. since he was single, and he was poor, milk powder was unaffordable, he could only feed the baby with 'rice water'. Hence, 'she yan' was not healthy. Anyway, 'she yan' just gradually grew up, just like a small flower on the cliff. 'she yan' was a intelligent girl.
命苦的孩子的確不一般，從5歲起，她就懂得幫爸爸分擔家務，洗衣、煮飯、割草她樣樣做得好，她知道自己跟別家的孩子不一樣，別家的孩子有爸爸有媽媽，自己的家裏只有她和爸爸，這個家得靠她和爸爸一起來支撐，她要很乖很乖，不讓爸爸多一點點憂心生一點點氣。
'she yan' was very mature compared to other kids. she did houseworks like laundry, cooking, seeding etc since at the age of 5. she knew she was different with other kids. others have both mother and father and she had only a father. hence she wanted to share the father's work. she was very good, never let the father being worry of her.
上小學了，佘艷知道自己要好學上進要考第一名，不識字的爸爸在村裏也會臉上有光，她從沒讓爸爸失望過。她給爸爸唱歌，把學校裏發生的趣事一樣一樣講給爸爸聽，把獲得的每一朵小紅花仔仔細細貼在墻上，偶爾還會調皮地出道題目考倒爸爸……每當看到爸爸臉上的笑容，她會暗自滿足：“雖然不能像別的孩子一樣也有媽媽，但是能跟爸爸這樣快樂地生活下去，也很幸福了。”
then, 'she yan' went to school as normal children. she knew good results could make the father felt proud of her. she studied hard and obtained very good results. she sang many songs for father, told every small happenings in the school......she was very happy to see the laughters on the father's face. she said 'although i can't have a mum like what a normal kid would have, i am very happy to live with father!!'
2005年5月開始，她經常流鼻血。有一天早晨，佘艷正欲洗臉，突然發現一盆清水變得紅紅的，一看，是鼻子裏的血正向下滴，不管採用什麼措施，都止不住。實在沒辦法，佘仕友帶她去鄉衛生院打針，可小小的針眼也出血不止，她的腿上還出現大量“紅點點”，醫生說，“趕快到大醫院去看！”來到成都大醫院，可正值會診高峰，她排不上輪次。獨自坐在長椅上按住鼻子，鼻血像兩條線直往下掉，染紅了地板。他覺得不好意思，只好端起一個便盆接血，不到10分鐘，盆子裏的血就盛了一半。
since may 2005, 'she yan's nose bleeds quite frequently. one day morning, when she was cleaning her face as usual, she found that the water in the pot became fully red because of the blood coming out from her nose. the bleeding did not stop no matter what they did. hence, 'she shi you' brought her to the clinic in the clinic. the doctor tried to stop the bleeding using injection. however, the bleeding of the small puncture caused by the injection was even worse. there were flecks on her legs. doctor advised them to go to the hospital in the city (Cheng Du). there are a lot of patients in the hospital. she waited very long. her nose bleeded very badly and wetted the floor. she felt bad and then found a container. after 10 minutes, the blood was already half full.
醫生見狀，連忙帶孩子去檢查。檢查後，醫生馬上給他開了病危通知單。他得了“急性白血病”！
a doctor passed by saw it and quickly brought her for a check-up. after that, the doctor said she had severe leucocythemia.
這種病的醫療費是非常昂貴的，費用一般需要30萬元！佘仕友懵了。看著病床上的女兒，他沒法想太多，他只有一個念頭：救女兒！借遍了親戚朋友，東拼西湊的錢不過杯水車薪，距離30萬實在太遠，他決定賣掉家裏唯一還能換錢的土坯房。可是因為房子太過破舊，一時找不到買主。
the treatment would be very costly. normally, it needs 300 thousands (ren min bi). the father was poor. he just go everywhere to borror money. but it was too little. he decided to sell the old
house. and it was hard to find the buyer because the house was too bad-conditioned.
看著父親那雙憂鬱的眼睛和日漸消瘦的臉，佘艷總有一種酸楚的感覺。一次，佘艷拉著爸爸的手，話還未出口眼淚卻冒了出來：“爸爸，我想死……”
looking at the tired and thining father, 'she yan' felt very sad. once, she told the father ' daddy, i want to die'......followed by tears.....
父親一雙驚愕的眼睛看著她：“你才8歲，為啥要死？”
the father was surprised. he said ' you are just 8 year old, why do you want to give up?'
“我是撿來的娃娃，大家都說我命賤，害不起這病，讓我出院吧……”
'i am just a kid you found in brushwood. i was fated to have hard life. just let me leave this hospital......'
6月18日，8歲的佘艷代替不識字的爸爸，在自己的病歷本上一筆一畫地簽字：“自願放棄對佘艷的治療。”
18th june, 'she yan' helped the illiterate father to write that 'give up the treatment to she yan'.
當天回家後，從小到大沒有跟爸爸提過任何要求的佘艷，這時向爸爸提出兩個要求：她想穿一件新衣服，再照一張相片，她對爸爸解釋說：“以後我不在了，如果你想我了，就可以看看照片上的我。”
after going back, the 8-year old girl had 2 requests to the father (she never has any request to the father before). she wanted a new clothes and wanted to take a photo. she explained to the father that the father can look at the picture when she had gone away.
第二天，爸爸叫上姑姑陪著佘艷來到鎮上，花30元給佘艷買了兩套新衣服，佘艷自己選了一套粉紅色的短袖短褲，姑姑給她選了一套白色紅點的裙子，她試穿上身就捨不得脫下來。三人來到照相館，佘艷穿著粉紅色的新衣服，雙手比著V字手勢，努力地微笑，最後還是忍不住掉下淚來。
the following day, the father asked his sister to help 'she yan' to get 2 pair of new clother. 'she yan' had chosen a red short-sleeved blouse and a red short. the aunty had bought her anothr red-dotted white skirt. then, 3 of them went to photography shop. 'she yan' was wearing the new clothes and tried so hard to smile. anyway, she just could not hold the tears.
她已經不能上學了，她長時間背著書包站在村前的小路上，目光總是濕漉漉的。
she could not go to school anymore. she took her bag, standing on the road that she normally walked to the school, her tears were full in her eyes.
如果不是《成都晚報》的一個叫傅艷的記者，佘艷將像一片悄然滑落的樹葉一樣，靜靜地從風中飄下來。記者阿姨從醫院方面得知了情況，寫了一篇報道，詳盡敘說佘艷的故事。旋即，《8歲女孩乖巧安排後事》的故事在蓉城傳開了，成都被感動了，互聯網也被感動了，無數市民為這位可憐的女孩心痛不已，從成都到全國乃至全世界，現實世界與互聯網空間聯動，所有愛心人士開始為這個弱小的生命捐款，“和諧社會”成為每個人心中的最強音。短短10天時間，來自全球華人捐助的善款就已經超過56萬元，手術費用足夠了，小佘艷的生命之火被大家的愛心再次點燃！宣佈募捐活動結束之後，仍然源源不斷收到全球各地的捐款。所有的錢都到位了，醫生也儘自己最大努力，一個接一個的治療難關也如願地一一闖過！大家沉著地微笑著等待成功的那一天！有網友如是寫道：“佘艷，我親愛的孩子！我希望你能健康的離開醫院；我祈禱你能順利的回到學校；我盼望你能平安的長大成人；我幻想我能高興的陪你出嫁。佘艷，我親愛的孩子……”
there was a reported from the 'cheng du press' called 'fu yan' knowing this story from the chengdu hospital. she wrote an article about it and then this story spreaded out. everyone was deeply touched and started raising the fund for 'she yan'. after 10 days, the donation reached 560 thousands. 'she yan' had another ray of hope to survive. everyone encouraged her, supported her via letters and donations. everyone sents their best wishes.
6月21日，放棄治療回家等待死神的佘艷被重新接到成都，住進了市兒童醫院。錢有了，卑微的生命有了延續下去的希望和理由。
21, june, 'she yan' was sent back to the cheng du hospital of children.
佘艷接受了難以忍受的化療。玻璃門內，佘艷躺在病床上輸液，床頭旁邊放著一把椅子，椅子上放一個塑膠盆，她不時要側身嘔吐。小女孩的堅強令所有人吃驚。她的主治醫生徐鳴介紹，化療階段胃腸道反應強烈，佘艷剛開始時經常一吐就是大半盆，可她“連吭都沒吭一聲”。剛入院時做骨髓穿刺檢查，針頭從胸骨刺入，她“沒哭，沒叫，眼淚都沒流，動都不動一下”。
'she yan' received the horrible and painful treatment. doctor xu was her doctor and she knew who suffering and painful can the patient feel. she never cries, never screams, never struggles even the doctor was trying to get bone marrow sample from her chest. her stiffness can never be found from other kids.
佘艷從出生到死亡，沒有得到一絲母愛的關照。當徐鳴醫生提出：“佘艷，給我當女兒吧！”佘艷眼睛一閃，淚珠兒一下就涌了出來。第二天，當徐鳴醫生來到她床前的時候，佘艷竟羞羞答答地叫了一聲：“徐媽媽。”徐鳴開始一愣，繼而笑逐顏開，甜甜地回了一聲：“女兒乖。”
'she yan' never has a mum. one day. doctor xu was very touched looking at her and said 'she yan, can you be my daughter'. 'she yan' cried when she heard it. the second day, when doctor xu went to her bed as usual, she called the her 'xu mama'. doctor xu was stupified at first followed by a big smile. then, she said, 'good daughter' .
所有的人都期待奇跡發生，所有的人都在盼望佘艷重生的那一刻。很多市民來到醫院看望佘艷，網上很多網民都在問候這位可憐的孩子，她的生命讓陌生的世界撒滿了光明。
everyone was waiting for miracle, waiting for the moment when 'she yan' was fully recovered. many people went to visit her. she was not fighting with the disease alone.
兩個月化療，佘艷陸續闖過了9次“鬼門關”，感染性休克、敗血症、溶血、消化道大出血……每次都逢凶化吉。由省內甚至國內權威兒童血液病專家共同會診確定的化療方案，效果很好，“白血病”本身已經被完全控制了！所有人都在企盼著佘艷康復的好消息。
in 2 months, 'she yan' almost went away 9 times due to infective shock, blood poisoning, hemolysis, inner bleeding. after a lot of effort, there is a slight improvement.
但是，化療藥物使用後可能引起的並發癥非常可怕。而與別的很多白血病孩子比較，佘艷的體質差很多。經此手術後她的體質更差了。
anyway, 'she yan' had become weaker and some unexpected syndromes were observed.
佘艷從枕頭下摸出一個數學作業本，遞給傅艷：“阿姨，這是我的遺書……”
one day, 'she yan' suddenly took out her mathematic workbook and passed it to 'fu yan' (the good-hearted reporter) saying that it was her 'testament'
傅艷大驚，連忙打開一看，果然是小佘艷安排的後事。這是一個年僅8歲的垂危孩子，趴在病床上用鉛筆寫了三頁紙的《遺書》。由於孩子太小，有些字還不會寫，且有個別錯別字。看得出整篇文章並不是一氣呵成寫完的，分成了六段。開頭是“傅艷阿姨”，結尾是“傅艷阿姨再見”，整篇文章“傅艷阿姨”或“傅阿姨” 共出現7次，還有9次簡稱記者為“阿姨”。這16個稱呼後面，全部是關於她離世後的“拜託”，以及她想通過記者向全社會關心她的人表達“感謝”與“再見”。
'fu yan' was surprised. she opened the book and 'she yan' really wrote her 'testament' which is 3-page long in it.
“阿姨再見，我們在夢中見。傅艷阿姨，我爸爸房子要垮了。爸爸不要生氣，不要跳樓。傅阿姨你要看好我爸爸。阿姨，醫我的錢給我們學校一點點，多謝阿姨給紅十字會會長說。我死後，把剩下的錢給那些和我一樣病的人，讓他們的病好起來……”
'fu-yan aunty, goodbye, let's meet again in dream. aunty, my father's house is too old and may collapse. tell daddy don't be angry, and don't commit suicide. aunty, please take care of my father. aunty, give part of the donation to my school, please help me to tell the chairman of Red Cross. after i go away, please use the leftover of the donation to help those have the same disease as mine. please cure them.'
這封遺書，讓傅艷看得淚流滿面，泣不成聲。
this 'testament' made 'fu-yan' cry.
8月22日，由於消化道出血，幾乎一個月不能吃東西而靠輸液支撐的佘艷，第一次“偷吃東西”，她掰了一塊方便麵塞進嘴裏。很快消化道出血加重，醫生護士緊急給她輸血、輸液……看著佘艷腹痛難忍、痛苦不堪的樣子，醫生護士都哭了，大家都願意幫她分擔痛苦，可是，想盡各種辦法還是無濟於事。
22th august, due to bleeding of the alimentary canal, 'she yan' cannot eat anything. she secretly ate a small piece of 'dried noodle'. then, the bleeding was worsen very badly and quickly. all the medical staff were worry. the doctor rapidly did blood transfusion. she yan's stomach is horribly painful. all the doctors and nurses were crying looking at her suffering face.
8歲的小佘艷終於遠離病魔的摧殘，安詳離去。
finally, she went away quietly.
所有人都無法接受這個事實：那個美麗如詩、純凈如水的“小仙女”真的去了另一個世界嗎？記者傅艷撫摸著佘艷漸漸冰冷的小臉，泣不成聲，再也不能叫他阿姨了，再也不能笑出聲來了…… 四川線上，網易等網站沉浸在淚海裏，互聯網被淚水打濕透了，“心痛到不能呼吸”。每個網站的消息帖子下面都有上萬條跟帖，花圈如山，悼詞似海，一位中年男士喃喃低語：“孩子，你本來就是天上的小天使，張開小翅膀，乖乖地飛吧……” 8月26日，她的葬禮在小雨中舉行，成都市東郊殯儀館火化大廳內外站滿了熱淚盈眶的市民。他們都是8歲女孩佘艷素不相識的“爸爸媽媽”。為了讓這個一齣生就被遺棄、患白血病後自願放棄自己的女孩，最後離去時不至於太孤單，來自四面八方的“爸爸媽媽們”默默地冒雨前來送行。
everyone was surprised! the good girl had gone away? everyone was sad. 26th august, her funeral was held. many people attended although that was a rainy day.
她墓地有她一張笑吟吟的照片，碑文正面上方寫著：“我來過，我很乖(1996.11.30.--2005.8.22)”
on her grave, 'i had come to this beautiful world, i am a good girl' was carved.
我知道我的英文有多糟糕,但是我希望大家能看到这一篇,知道自己有多么的幸福. 幸福不是必然的,请好好珍惜.
i know how horrible and poor my english is, but i hoped everyone can read it. it is meaningful. do you know how fortunate and blessed you are?
Friday 6 April 2007
懦弱的肥鹜----sheepish fatty 'wild duck'
肥鹜今天又胡思乱想来啦！
firstly, i want to explain what ‘鹜’（pronouns as 'wu') is to those who cannot read mandarin. ‘鹜’is a kind of wild duck that always look at the sky, dreaming that it can fly up high. However, it will never reach high or go far because it does not have the ability to fly up high. I am just like a ‘鹜’, not just a normal ‘鹜’, but a big fatty ‘鹜’, the wings can never balance the weight and therefore i can only look at the sky alone all the time.
突然觉得自己是很懦弱的！懦弱......遇到很多事情，我总是没有面对的勇气！当犹豫不决时，我都会选择了当缩头乌龟！我不知道这是优点还是缺点。缩头乌龟，好听的话，是一直以来，都太过顾及身边的人的感受，纵使只是小决定，自己都会深怕这做了什么不能满意大家的决定，仿佛忘了世界上是不可能两全其美的。也许是自己太过纤细了吧！
I am so 'sheepish'. I am so indecisive. And, i always try to escape. I don't know it is good or bad. Maybe it is because i am too care about others' feelings or how others think about it. Even a small incident, i am so afraid of making a decision that will make anyone unhappy. I almost forget nothing is perfect in this world.
在‘花样少男少女’里头听见很有意思的一句话~~有时候，逃避比做错决定还要糟！这句话，很对。但是真的是很不容易的，因为四周围有太多要考虑的因素了。自己永远都不是活在单独的世界里头，什么东西仿佛都会影响到别人。是这样么？还是那是为自己懦弱最好的辩解？
In Hana Kimi, there is a meaningful quote, ' sometimes, trying to escape is even worse than making a wrong decision!' It is quite true. But, it is hard for me to face it. There are many factors affecting my decision. Every action and decision will also affects one's feeling and thinking. Is it just an excuse for myself?
烦恼啊！为什么自己是那么的神经质？如果能将这些莫名的神经质转移到体能上的灵敏度，我就会开心多了！
Why am I so sensitive? If my mental sensitivity can be tranferred to be physical sensitivity, then I think i will be happier.
肥鹜，希望有一天，你能变的强悍一点，变得果断，不需要在这样懦弱！
fatty wild duck, hopefully one day, you will be stronger and decisive!
firstly, i want to explain what ‘鹜’（pronouns as 'wu') is to those who cannot read mandarin. ‘鹜’is a kind of wild duck that always look at the sky, dreaming that it can fly up high. However, it will never reach high or go far because it does not have the ability to fly up high. I am just like a ‘鹜’, not just a normal ‘鹜’, but a big fatty ‘鹜’, the wings can never balance the weight and therefore i can only look at the sky alone all the time.
突然觉得自己是很懦弱的！懦弱......遇到很多事情，我总是没有面对的勇气！当犹豫不决时，我都会选择了当缩头乌龟！我不知道这是优点还是缺点。缩头乌龟，好听的话，是一直以来，都太过顾及身边的人的感受，纵使只是小决定，自己都会深怕这做了什么不能满意大家的决定，仿佛忘了世界上是不可能两全其美的。也许是自己太过纤细了吧！
I am so 'sheepish'. I am so indecisive. And, i always try to escape. I don't know it is good or bad. Maybe it is because i am too care about others' feelings or how others think about it. Even a small incident, i am so afraid of making a decision that will make anyone unhappy. I almost forget nothing is perfect in this world.
在‘花样少男少女’里头听见很有意思的一句话~~有时候，逃避比做错决定还要糟！这句话，很对。但是真的是很不容易的，因为四周围有太多要考虑的因素了。自己永远都不是活在单独的世界里头，什么东西仿佛都会影响到别人。是这样么？还是那是为自己懦弱最好的辩解？
In Hana Kimi, there is a meaningful quote, ' sometimes, trying to escape is even worse than making a wrong decision!' It is quite true. But, it is hard for me to face it. There are many factors affecting my decision. Every action and decision will also affects one's feeling and thinking. Is it just an excuse for myself?
烦恼啊！为什么自己是那么的神经质？如果能将这些莫名的神经质转移到体能上的灵敏度，我就会开心多了！
Why am I so sensitive? If my mental sensitivity can be tranferred to be physical sensitivity, then I think i will be happier.
肥鹜，希望有一天，你能变的强悍一点，变得果断，不需要在这样懦弱！
fatty wild duck, hopefully one day, you will be stronger and decisive!
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